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Periods of Darkness

Greetings to all who have decided to read my blog once again! I thank you tremendously for the support and for taking the time out to read my transparency. To those who may have been led to read my blog for the first time, you are most definitely welcomed and I pray that you are led to read the next one.

Periods of Darkness was a blog topic that I've been led by God to discuss for this week. Being in dark periods are common to most of us whether you've received salvation or not and for those who may not be sure what that is, I'll be discussing what that is and how mine went.

A dark period in simple terms is a period where you feel completely isolated from God. It honestly seems as if the connection between God and you have failed and for some reason, you can't seem to pick back up the signal. And even though you know in your mind and heart that God is never out of our reach, during that period it just seems so hard to find Him.

8 months ago, the second semester of my senior year in college started and I was excited to not only graduate but to see what else was in store for me. I'm now a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated but during that time, I was preparing myself to attend the rush. I prayed constantly for God to show me signs that this is what He wanted me to do at this time but for some reason, I didn't receive any signs. Or maybe I wasn't alert or attentive to the signs that He may have sent. I even spoke to my pastor and deacon for some clarity. They basically gave me the same advice being that God isn't an author of confusion and if I'm feeling anything of that sort, that may be a sign. Also, no sign is a sign! However, I was still adamant about pursuing this dream because this was an aspiration of mine since I was a little girl. My pastor basically told me that we are given free will to do what we want in life but that I should understand that there are consequences of disobeying God and His timing.

Fast forwarding to the day of the rush .. So I went and basically the next step was to pay the money in which I was maybe $400 short due to recently paying my senior fees. But I knew deep down in my heart that God wouldn't have brought me this far to just leave me where I am. God blessed me to receive that money from a good friend and my mentor who are also members of the sorority. So I became a member and this journey has been remarkable! No, it wasn't perfect at all but definitely worth it! However, after becoming a member of the sorority, I entered a brief dark period.

Before joining, I was constantly praying, reading the word, attending church and spending time with God. But after joining, all of the things that I was doing to better myself spiritually, I stopped. I'm not even a partying type of person but I've been attending those and even engaged in drinking alcohol (be mindful I'm not a drinker either smh). Honestly, I didn't even know who I was during that period of time! I also started to notice a change in my character. I became very rude and disrespectful, used profanity, carried an attitude for no reason, and just stopped talking to people. I honestly didn't realize how bad it was until a friend of mine stopped talking to me. He basically told me that I've changed and that I wasn't the sweet and friendly person that he met at the beginning of the year. At first, I didn't want to accept his opinion because nobody else told me anything of that sort. But I definitely had to reevaluate myself because he was a friend of mine and I knew that he wouldn't have lied to me. So after taking some time, I did notice collectively that I wasn't myself and I can't blame that on me being Greek. I can only blame myself for allowing the letters and things associated with them to impact myself negatively. Still to this day, I reflect back to what my pastor said. Maybe it wasn't time for me to join this organization but God allowed me to because He knew that I wanted this. Maybe He wanted me to join so that I could see why He tried to leave this door shut in my life. Who knows!? Maybe this dark period was a consequence of my decision to follow my will and not God's! Or maybe it was to show me that no matter how many blessings I have, I should never place them over my BLESSER!

So now we're here at graduation and I received my Bachelor's of Science in Biology, WOOT WOOT lol! All glory to God, of course! A few weeks after graduating, I got on twitter and saw that a sister-in-Christ, Andrea, tweeted about her groupme, Women With Wisdom. I messaged her concerning the groupme and she told me that she also has another groupme that was about to do a bible challenge. That was even more perfect because I was aiming to find means to get myself back together spiritually. So I agreed to join both of the groupmes and after joining, I was able to feel that connection and light of God again! I started back attending church, I participated in a social media fast for my first time, and even started back reading the word. You don't realize how much you need something until you lose track of it. My first time going back to church was so spiritually overwhelming. It was like God knew that I was supposed to be there (of course He did though lol)! Right after leaving church, I told my mom that I didn't notice how much I needed church until I went back today.

So I said all of this to say that our relationships with God are so important, not only to Him but to our well-being! When you are spiritually dead, you will also notice that every other aspect of your life is beginning to crash. Sometimes, these dark periods are needed and necessary to show us how essential it is to have the presence of God felt and appreciated in our lives. Sometimes, a disconnection from God is imperative for a strong reconnection. So if you're going through a dark period right now, try getting to the root or source of the issue. Determine what you may have stopped doing spiritually or what you may have started doing that's of the world. Remember that nothing not even sin can separate us from the love of God. Humble yourself before God, repent and let Him know that you have slipped but desire to seek Him wholeheartedly. Don't allow the thoughts that Satan may have planted in your mind, to deceive you. WE ARE NEVER OUT OF GOD'S REACH! Wow, someone needed to hear that but it's true. He is able to meet you right where you are! You don't need to "get yourself together" or "straighten yourself up". Only through God are we able to be transformed into the person that He has destined us to be. Just remember to be authentic while seeking Him and to have a heart that is willing to live a life that is pleasing in His eyesight.

But I truly pray that this blog has blessed someone! Until next time, please stay encouraged saints!


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